Sunday, November 11, 2012

About things recently

This is just another relaxing and nice saturday midnite. Me, alone, with the laptop, browsing all the thing, while doing some academic tasks.
Well, it's pretty annoying that I have some thoughts keep running in my head lately, so here I decide to just spill it off some of it

I realize that, I should not be that hmm 'narrow'. Besides all of my adoration with the "hard works" concept and my struggle JUST at least to get higher GPA (after some wake up call moments). During this year, especially this semester, all the things I do, all the thoughts I think, are just about my future career. Yes I admit it, my life is just all about company A, B, C. My life is just about how to get this or that, and all that stuff. Yes I enjoy it, so much. Doing things based on passion and for reasons. But, hey, life is not that narrow. Sometimes, I'm just afraid that with my mediocre-level of self-capacity, having some free time would give some dangerous effect to my goals.

I realize that I'm a type of human who is always "melihat ke atas". I will always need figures to look up to. I always search for inspirations, I'm always be the one who come to people and blabs all of my problem. All this time I busied my mind with the concept of seeing-myself-not-as-I-expected-to-be. Moreover, the overthinking-side-of-me has led me to imagine myself 5-10 years from now, that the future I've always wanted is not as satisfying as it should.

I realize that this self-made phrase "once you fall hard, you'll be blind" is truly represents me. Once I fall hard towards any kinds of things, boys, academic subjects, opportunities, I would just focus on that thing and not considering another possiblities that actually sorrounds me at the same time.

So to sum up, the conclusion is, I should enjoy the present more. I should go to the cinemas more often, maybe I should start reading novels again. I should tweet or write another #mekap101 series maybe. I should say Hi more often to people. As a person who enjoys her "alone" time so damn much, I have to kill some "individualist" habbit that has been growing since a week ago.

Well, it's good to know yourself more, day by day. I'm start thinking about how my resolutions for 2013 should be. A couple of resolutions are already on my list. I did a lot of research yes, but then again, when you already know how far your limit and inner strength are, these research could be burdening sometimes. Maybe I should stop planning medium and long-term plans for a little while. Why ? I already made a lot of it. So, with considering my self-capacity too, I want to put my concentration on executing those plans and be focus. Instead of making more plans, then having tons of it, but nothing to execute, then I got frustrated with myself. No.
So, Why do I think about this resolution thingie ? well, the idea comes into my mind just right after I realize that my biggest fault in 2012 is neither setting any resolutions nor any goals. I used to think those activities are pointless. But in the end, I realized that I was totally wrong. Just like the way I texted my papa a couple days ago "Dad, you're right. and I was wrong. GPA is everything :)"

Well, this post is kinda intriguing that, we surely have boundaries where we don't want people to know about us that far, aren't we ? ;;)
So, Have a blissful weekend, everyone !

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