Friday, June 28, 2013

Me Being Serious

Hai, apakabar ? saya habis melalui masa-masa malas cerita-cerita disinii. Semester 6 dan segala keciamikannya apakabar ? UAS dan tugas akhir udah lewat nih jadi bisa nulis kek gini ? Udah selesai cong, udah bleneg ye ngomongin akademis mulu. Mending kita hepi2. Di liburan 3 bulan ini, saya ambil semester pendek untuk isi waktu luang. Udah deh jangan cerita begituan, malaay.

Okeh let's being serious, dalam beberapa minggu ini ada beberapa thoughts and lessons yang saya ambil.

1. No matter how I have considered myself as mature enough (drive the huge green car back and forth all by myself, earn money and spend it to cover monthly allowance's defisit, etc), some little silly accident has proven that I still need my papa's guidance.
Okay this is very silly. Here's the story, papa saya metros rapi2 awet muda gitu dan care sekali sama kerapihan/perawatan diri anak-anaknya. Dari saya kecil, yang beliin sampo-kondisioner-lulur, yang nemenin ke salon buat potong rambut itu papa. Long story short, kemaren mau sok-sokan resmoothing rambut di salon biasa tanpa ditemenin papa yang suka rempong kalo nemenin anaknya ke salon. Hasilnya apa ? Saya merasa ditipuu sama orang salon, I paid almost double, s*it. Ha ! gak ada papa sih yang rempong nego harga dulu.

2. Rejection hurts, but one shall pass that phase
Especially dalam masa remaja mereka. Adik saya yang paling kecil itu kebetulan diberkahi dapat kesempatan untuk mengenyam pendidikan di salah satu SMA swasta di Kebayoran, dulu saya SMPnya disitu *tau ya*. Sekolah ini pas banget buat mengakomodasi potensi-potensi adik saya yang memang not really into academic itu. And I told ya, he's very happy here. Dia sering cerita tentang sekolahnya itu dengan mata berbinar-binar. The environment, tons of acara sekolah dimana adik saya terlibat dan sering jadi ketua. Ceritanya, he's aplying for the student organization, yang terkenal dengan jasnya yang emang bikin bangga2 kece gimana gitu. And he's rejected, he's so dissapointed. I had been in that situation, persis. I know how he feels. So I did a 1 minute monologue to him, considering dia nggak suka banget diceramahi dan diungkit kesedihannya. I told him that by not bringing this all up means that I care for him, I had been in his shoes dengan case yang sama persis, I had been facing more rejections in my life and it's okay dek, belajar dewasa :)

3. I conclude that people do have 6 rings in terms of being a homo homini lupus.
A further explanation about this would be better postponed. It has correlation and sort of answering the  position of social media.

4. Saya lagi suka lagunya Chaka Khan "Through the Fire".
I look in your eyes and I can see, We've loved so dangerously, You're not trusting your heart to anyone
You tell me you're gonna play it smart, We're through before we start, But I believe that we've only just begun

When it's this good, there's no saying no
I want you so, I'm ready to go

CHORUS:
Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall
For a chance to be with you, I'd gladly risk it all
Through the fire, Through whatever, come what may
For a chance at loving you, I'd take it all the way
Right down to the wire, Even through the fire

I know you're afraid of what you feel, You still need time to heal, And I can help if you'll only let me try
You touch me and something in me knew, What I could have with you
Now I'm not ready, To kiss that dream goodbye

When it's this sweet, there's no saying no
I need you so, I'm ready to go

CHORUS

Through the test of time

CHORUS

To the wire, to the limit
Through the fire, through whatever
Through the fire, to the limit
Through the fire, through whatever
Through the fire, to the limit
Through the fire, through whatever

Kicik beraat kan kakaaaaa. Untuk yang kurang familiar, ini tuh lagu jazz 80an yang sering dinyanyiin grup jazz di PIM 1 kalo weekend *hapal*. Liriknya dong, minta dinyanyiin di karaoke dengan emozi sepenuh hati~ Iyaaaa I'd risky glad it aaaaaaall, I'd take it all the waaaaay huwoooow. Gemes, #ehapanihjanganmulai. *okesip deh Ted Mosbeeeh*

5. It's quite overwhelming to discover sisi lain ibu saya
Selama hampir 20 tahun, yang saya tau mama saya yah begitu. Ambisius-suka interview orang-reliable daughter-tough gak pernah curhat sama orang-galak sama saya-ga pernah mau dicurhatin-speaks in such a sophisticated way (dengan segala phrase englishnya, correct pronounciationnya, intonasi intelek grammar nazi pula) *yang ini sih bikin bangga betul*-disiplin, sangat konservatif (kaku in terms of peraturan and how things should be done). Capricorn banget lah.
It was until.......... mama pake BB dan reunited with her SMP-SMA friends waktu di Aceh. Nah itulah, saya menemukan sisi mama saya yang toootally different dengan yang saya kenal selama ini. Saya dan adik-adik jadi sering liat mama ketawa-ketawa, main ke mall ngumpul sama temen2nya (biasanya mah yakalii). Mama saya itu jadi pendengar baik atas masalah teman-temannya, penengah kubu yang berseteru, ramah, hangat, manis unyu2 gitu lah. I am kinda wowed.
Sampe sekarang, ada masa-masa saya dan adik saya suka ngeledekin2 bercanda karena masih nggak nyangka "Aduh Yenni sahabatku sayang, mari kita jaga persahabatan dari lama ini blablabla" hahaha that is the way they interact each other. Once mama cerita kalo temen2nya ga percaya kalo mama itu galak sama anak-anaknya. Saya juga pernah nanya iseng-iseng gitu :
Naila :"Ma, kok mama manis banget sih sama temen2 mama tapi galak sama anak-anaknya".
Terus ya... tebak dong mama jawab apa
Mama : "Iya dong, anak mama harus jadi seperti yang mama mau *dengan intonasi demanding*"
Huwiiiiih okeee okeee bu bos, ada lanjutannya nih, unyu deh.
Mama : "Karena mama dengan teman2 mama itu hubungannya kemitraan. Kalo sama anak-anak mama itu hubungannya vertikal, karena anak-anak mama itu amanah titipan dari Allah"
Naila : ".........."
Aaaaa hatiku adem ibuku jago banget sik berkata-kata. Terus saya dan Kemal, adik tertua yang suka banget becandain mama, ngomong "AAAAW Unyuu bangeet" bareng.

5. I'm being more ikhlasan. I know yang namanya ikhlas itu kalo diomongin namanya bukan ikhlas, but I feel good about it.
Alhamdulillah. Sekarang ini, saya merasa makin berdamai sama segala sesuatu hal in terms of pencapaian. I dream high, I have values and I hold tightly onto it, I have a strong concept of myself, I have vision, etc. In short, I am too idealist. Once I realized gak semua yang direncanakan itu bisa terlaksana, gak semua mimpi itu cocok dengan kapabilitas kita *tanpa maksud untuk membuat excuse apapun ya*, fortunately I always feel "oh yaudah gakpapa, bukan jalannya, masih banyak jalan lain kok" lengkap dengan senyum legowo yang emang beneran :) #ziniamodeon. Saya emang coba beberapa hal, memilih kesempatan apa saja yang mau saya ambil, nggak mencoba suatu hal kalo saya nggak passion-passion amat *padahal dulu berminat* dll. Contohnya : hanya apply magang ke beberapa perusahaan, turns out nggak magang samsek, walaupun sempet ditelfon salah satu tapi timingnya gak tepat. Beneran deh, yaudah legowo aja gitu, for every failed attempts towards things I aimed, for every opportunity but I chose not to try since I don't have that big passions towards it.

6. When was the last thing I wanted a thing soooo bad, I prayed hard asking  God to grant, I stalked tips and things badly, I worked hard pushing myself to the limit ? Pas masuk UI. Then, have I completed my 30 hari puasa nazar kalo masuk UI ? Belom.

Fanteeeeees. Cukup menjawab segalanya sih ya. Saya anaknya jadi fighter roket siap tempur banget kalo emang keinginan dan niat dari hatinya kuat, banget. Now, though I plan hard, tapi emang greget dan niat dalam menjalani semua itu yaaa nggak seguede pas kepingin masuk akuntansi UI.

7. A new phrase to answer the classic "about me" section
yaitu "An easily wowed hopelessly romantic kind of girl". Udah kepikiran selama beberapa bulan ini, haha. *Babaaay self branding self positioning babaay*


Hmmmm segitu dulu deh ceritanya, for whoever you are who accidentally bumps into this, thanks for reading, as well as understanding :)

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