I do get the urgency, I do feel the desire, to continue my study abroad. I really do.
I know that my current real life is still quite far for reaching that dream, I am still happily burdened by assistanceship stuffs, I'm still busied by my 5 remaining subjects tasks, I have not even touch any journals to start my thesis, yet.
One thing for sure is that, I feel grateful that my perspective has changed so much during this year. 6 months ago I was still trapped in these concept : apply and get internship at reputable companies-graduate soon-get a job soon-maintain a good career-search for possbilities to get placed in singapore-contribute some money to my parents and brothers-get married-search for the best stuffs for baby-etc. Yep that's sounds typical and yet ideal for some people, including me(at that time). Until there are several things knocked me in the head and opened my perspective.
No, that kind of sequence I mentioned above is not what I want, I want more. I need more of world-experience. I want to explore myself more in a positive way that I can create life satisfaction for myself as well as create bigger value to other people's life. There are much more things that I want to do, I want to experience in my 20s. I do really-really need to live abroad. I want to expereience how is it like to be the citizen of the world. Considering that it would not be that easy to get a job abroad with a bachelor degree even from our local's best university, I know that the best way, the most possible way is to study there. My education track records so far has also realized me that, besides my personal aspiration towards career matters, I am such kind of person who enjoy learning process and being student so much. No wonder, the idea of continuing my study abroad is seemed the best choice. Moreover, I still have an unrealized passion towards one subject, this one subject that I just can't stop wondering how could it be so... tantalizing (gah, I even use the word). I really want to, and need to, gain more in-depth understanding towards this subject. And for now, in terms of education-mixed-career matters, I think that nothing is more satisfying than the idea of get the opportunity to live overseas, in that targeted country, while study things I'm passionate about.
Reminiscing those times when couple years ago I blatantly and naively articulated my dream about the place where I'm studying right now, so here I am, articulating it again. I know as people grown up, especially in this 'campus' environment, people will find it safer to keep their goals for themselves and not to share it to the surroundings. But hell yeah, here I am saying
Bismillah, Bright Purple is the new Yellow :)
Aamin Ya Robbal Aalamiin...
*it's incidental that I write this in thiss kind of time, I almost laughed, yess past has been nice, current real life is quite what I wished for couple years ago, now I've moved on and am looking forward to my future*