Saturday, December 14, 2013

Sentimental story of a senior student

So this was it. We finally arrived at this point. This is the last week of 7th semester for us, FEUI batch 2010. For all of us, this week must have brought melancholic feeling, especially for those who plans to finish their study in 3.5 years. Every chapter has its own end, so does our academic life, and this is sort of the end of our journey in college life.

For me personally, it would not be me if I didn't surpass this week with some sentimental feeling, plus, some unnecessary doubt. In this tiring semester, I still took 5 subjects which one of them is damn difficult but challenging (cough, econometrics), I accepted the challenge to handle 3 assistanceship class which I have to admit really-really drain my energy and concentration, I faced some little frustations-turns-to-be self developmental process named thesis proposal, and off course I took care of myself and things that matters the most, even I managed to participate in a competition. This is not an easy semester, I admit, physically and mentally. I could even say this is the hardest semester ever. Besides all of those physical academic stuff, I managed to win the battle with myself, to be persistent and to stick on the decision I have made before, decision that yess made my life less or more harder :) So, when this semester reaches its own end, I should have felt happy, besides sentimental, rite ? No. I was very anxious in facing this week. How about my final classes, well not only that. The point is, I even managed to call some of beloved friends to be some kind of support system for me in facing the week.

Turns out, this week passed above my expectations, far beyond from what I have always imagined. I, surprisingly, feel surprised that this week passed in such a nice way. There are three things that I will describe below : my assistenceship classes, my academic life, today's batch 2010 photoshoot.

No mama, being lecture assistant is no easy job. We have to allocate several hours in a week to study the materials while we are having primary academic obligations. I, my brain, felt really suffocated and drained during this semester. Really, there are two really opposite subjects that I had to deliver to my students every week. Yeah, taxation 1 for the regular class and cost accounting for the international class. Not to mention I was also a laboratory assistant who had to learn accounting software once in every two week. There were moments when I felt like wanna give up. I almost never had my normal sunny laid back sunday, since I had to teach those two subjects in the same day, call it holy-monday. However, I tried to give my best. Spent every friday and saturday in the coziest starbucks ever located in sekbil to find some peace and focus in studying those material, is my kind of dedication. tee hee.
How about the students ? yeah usual story. Mostly nice, some are critical, some are ignorant, some are helpful, some didn't even listen to me explaining the concept (which took me hourss and energy to understand, some are very studious, some are lazy, some are responsive, some are really quiet. They sometimes could become my mood booster in teaching but sometimes, heheh, I felt like ooowkaay :), but well, I enjoy the connection. Well after weeks of braing-draining preparations (since I always wanted to deliver the materials in 'my kind of way, my style, my language'), this journey has come to the finish line. I finished my classes both on regular classes and international classes. Surprisingly, the student were being so nice (since the main reason I became an assistant is to help them, I don't care for any probability of they being so on purpose). Those were nice moments. They saying thankyou Kak and I saying I'm sorry for being imperfect and all those talks wishing them the best. I went out from those classes with a big smile and a warm heart 0:) Will I continue this job next semester ? so far I think, na ah :)

Nothing special. Please whoever stumbled in this blog please do pray for me. I have a big fear that I won't pass (audzubillahmindzaliik) the econometrics subject. I thought I really failed on the mid. I am afraid that I can't do the final exam too. I am afraid to fail on this subject. Because if so, I have to take another one class in the next semester. Change topic. So, my first class in this campus was Introduction to Economics which was very special because it was Mrs. Miranda Goeltom who lectured. And I ended it (aamen that I pass all subjects in this semester) by attending Corporate Governance Class. Everything was quite nice, eventho not that incredibly special, afterall.

I don't wanna spill to much words. I have no idea that the moment would be very pleasing. Heart-warming. I feel like wanna say "Where we were, Who we are". The moment turned out to be 180degree different from what I imagined. Beyond my expectations. Picture speaks louder than words. check my instagram account, haha. After that I spent the beautiful day being surrounded with my beloved people at takarajima, something that I haven't done in like a zillion years. It's heartwarming.

Moreover, I proved that my beloved friend's words are right, and my unnecessary thinking was not right this time. I won the battle against myself. I also had overstepped my boundaries, it's quite a big step, but it weigh less now. It was this week that gave me the courage. Alhamdulillah. I care about what lie's ahead, but I know whatever it is, I believe that I can face it.

AND, of course, I send my highest gratitude to Allah Almighty, for giving me such an incredible and above my expectation-week. For bouncing my life up and bringing it down during these college life. For giving me bitter things that led me to sweeter things and to be more grateful.

For the next steps, I have to do the thesis. The real journey has not finished yet. Bismillah. But at least this week has given me some spirit. Aameen.

No comments: